


Brighter

by kyungjagi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Non AU, Star Gazing, bestfriends!kaisoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 19:50:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17270021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyungjagi/pseuds/kyungjagi
Summary: and when stars shine bright tonight, that is the night you’ll see, that you shine brightest for me





	Brighter

It couldn’t be explained.

How the moon shone just a little bit brighter than any other night.  
  
It couldn’t be defined.  
  
Just how the feeling of sitting quietly together filled the empty spaces.

It couldn’t be seen.

In this dark night when the stars are much brighter than any night, but Jongin thought that the man beside him was much more fascinating, blinding, and beautiful than any other star gazing night.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know that of course. He doesn’t know just what goes on inside Jongin’s pretty head and how he would feel if he just scooted a little bit closer to him. He would make an excuse out of the chilly night but he knows Jongin would just say that it’s cold every night. He knows that, of course, even that much he understands. He thinks he knows everything about Jongin, but Jongin also wants to know what goes in Kyungsoo’s troubled mind that very night.

It started out as a scam of a hang out, “Hyung, I heard in the news there would be a Dog Star tonight! How cool is that? A Star Dog?!” Jongin was too excited about a star shaped like a dog, already telling Kyungsoo of what to name it and how he would use his zoom lens for his outdated iPhone to capture the star dog. Kyungsoo knew that it wasn’t actually a star in the shape of a dog, he knew that it was the brightest star among all the stars.

Kyungsoo being the supportive best friend he was agreed to Jongin’s beliefs and set out to camp with him at their wide balcony at their dorm, ready with a dog name and an 8X Zoom Clip Lens.

_“EXO KAI and BLACKPINK Jennie dating”_

Kyungsoo closed his eyes for a brief moment and settled in his chair more as Jongin was adjusting his clip lens and choosing the right filter. A ping of a message sounded on someone’s phone and Jongin immediately let go of his clip lens to reply to the message he received. The older man looked to his right where Jongin was, focused on replying to whoever messaged him so late at night. He wanted to brush if off, but he couldn’t.

_“Stay low for now, everyone. Let’s pretend it’s nothing. Jongin, don’t post anything for now.”_

It’s isn’t just nothing. To both of them.

He wanted to shake off these thoughts and focus on being with his friend. He wanted to talk about anything and everything with him. He wanted to take his phone out for Jongin to use for taking pictures instead so he won’t have to open his messaging app anymore. He wanted so much but could only receive what he can get.

Nights like these, are all Kyungsoo is going to get.

When he hears the sound of a phone locking and a deep sigh, he opens his eyes again.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jongin freezes suddenly and clears his throat, “I’m—uh, I don’t—“

“It’s fine if you don’t want to. That was rude of me, I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo pick at the loose string on his sweatpants and wants to delve into other things beside this but he already started it.

_“They went on a drive. They looked very romantic. They have been dating since October.”_

“I’m sorry for not telling you.” Jongin put his phone on silent and focused on the stars above them, willing himself not to look at Kyungsoo.

“It’s fine.. I thought that you would at least tell me before I found out from someone else.”

Jongin snapped his head to the older man, confusion on his eyes, and his mouth open in surprise. “You heard it from someone else?”

Kyungsoo nodded and willed himself to speak, “Yeah, from Chanyeol.”

It was a day when Kyungsoo finally had time to take the day off after one of his movie promotions back in early December and he couldn’t wait to surprise Jongin with corndogs and lattes. He has been busy the whole of November and December and didn’t have time anymore with Jongin when back before all of Kyungsoo’s full schedules, they would always be busy with each other doing anything and everything.

When he stepped in the dorm to hang his coat by the front door, he noticed Jongin’s coat wasn’t there. He would know exactly what it looked like because it was from him. He would know exactly that it wasn’t there because it was just there 8 hours ago.

“Oh, Kyungsoo, you’re back!” Chanyeol greeted him as he passed by the front door to get to the kitchen. His hair still wet and towel was on his shoulders.

Kyungsoo meekly nodded and toed off his shoes to get to the kitchen as well.

“Where’s Jongin?” He was putting out the corndogs from the plastic and taking out the lattes from the to-go carton when he suddenly froze.

“Oh, he’s out on a date with~” Chanyeol was singing when he suddenly stopped, remembering that it was Kyungsoo he was speaking to and silently cursed.

Kyungsoo put the to-go cup down and looked away. “Oh, really? That’s.. that’s new.” He laughed and continued preparing the food he bought.

He took out the mustard and ketchup from the pantry and going back to the corndogs and putting them on individual plates. He put only ketchup on one of them because he knew Jongin hated mustard and asked Chanyeol how he wanted the street food and apologized because the latte was already cold.

He turned to leave to his room when Chanyeol stopped him, “Are you okay, Kyungsoo?” His wide eyes searching Kyungsoo’s own but Kyungsoo kept his eyes on the floor and gently pushed Chanyeol’s hand off his arm.

“No.”

•

_“SM Entertainment has confirmed that the couple is indeed dating. They have good feelings towards each other.”_

“It’s okay, Jongin. You.. you didn’t have to tell me. It’s your life.” He weakly laughed and willed himself to look at Jongin. Turning right back when he felt that his eyes were watery. He quickly wiped them away when his damp hands were suddenly in someone else’s.

Jongin was now on his knees between Kyungsoo’s thighs. If Kyungsoo could blush, he could, but right now his eyes wouldn’t stop tearing up.

“It’s not okay. You should have known first,” Jongin sighed and held Kyungsoo’s face in his hands.

“You know I love you the most, right hyung?” Jongin whispered and thumbed the other’s damp cheeks.

“You don’t get to say that anymore, Jongin. You can’t.” He pulled Jongin’s hands away from him, “We’re nothing after all.” Kyungsoo turned to leave but Jongin pulled him back down.

Before Jongin could say anything, Kyungsoo cut him off with,

“Don’t you love her too?”

Kyungsoo knew it wasn’t something their company came up with. If it was, their manager would be talking to all of them as group just like how they did back in 2015.

“God, I.. I don’t know, hyung.”

It was true, he knew it wasn’t love, he knew it wasn’t like that or at least not yet. He always saw it as a chance for new friendship outside of his comfort zone and something else to keep him busy.

“You should. You should know.” Kyungsoo sighed and wanted to leave already but Jongin had him locked down.

“We can make this work, Kyungsoo.”

He lifted his head to meet Jongin’s eyes. He was serious. There was no line of joking in his speech and his eyes were zeroed on Kyungsoo’s own.

“What is this, Jongin? There’s nothing going on between the two of us, right? There’s no need to sort anything out,” Kyungsoo took a deep breath and built enough confidence on what he wanted to say next, “There’s no us, Jongin. We’re just friends.”

He took Jongin’s hands in his and looked at the younger’s eyes, “I’m always busy and I’m going to be with my family this January. I won’t have time for you anymore unless it’s a schedule we both have to attend to. I.. I don’t want to hang out again anytime soon. I mean, that way.. you have more time for her, right? And your birthdays are coming up. You should plan something fast.”

Jongin hugged the older man and felt his own eyes tearing up.

“You’re birthday is up first, hyung. I’ll plan something for yours first before anyone else.”

“But Jongin—“

“No, I loved you first and you will always be first. I know you love me too but it’s up to you on where you place me now.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t believe he was hearing this again after so many years of putting it aside.

They dated briefly before debuting back in 2011 and had to ultimately stop because their management wouldn’t allow them to debut if they were together. They tried to hide that they were still secretly seeing each other but were too obvious even to the fans that their fan service wasn’t just for the fans but for themselves as well. Hence, the dating set up in 2015 where they had to stop seeing each other again and let go of what they had permanently.

Now, here they were, revisiting the past. Jongin so, so close to him. He could count the creases on his forehead from here and briefly make out the mole that was sitting on his lip. They’ve never been this close to each other ever since three years ago.

If he could be with Jongin forever, where they could call themselves a couple, announce to the world that they are dating, he would. If he could kiss the life out of this man, be with this man, love this man for eternity and onward, he would. But he couldn’t because they were in a world where they are EXO’s D.O. and KAI.

“You’ve always been first.” Kyungsoo said dumbfoundedly and tightened his embrace on the younger man. “Forever, you will always be first to me.”

Jongin was sniffling by now but Kyungsoo couldn’t see the tears leaking out from his eyes. All he could feel that Jongin wound his arms tighter on his hyung.

•

They were now lying side by side on their makeshift bed, blankets strewn all over the balcony, Jongin’s phone in hand ready to take a picture of the brightest star.

“In our next life, please tell me you love me too, hyung.”

“How would you know if I’ll still love you in our next life?”

Jongin turns to look at him, camera in hand, taking a picture of his beautiful face.

“Because I will love you still in our next life. I will find you and it will be easy, since you are the brightest star for me.”

•

“Jongin! I told you not to post anything on your SNS!”

**Author's Note:**

> This was my way of dealing with the recent dating news. I really don’t know how to feel about all of this not only as a kaisooist but as a fan in general. I may have forgotten that they are capable of dating and am not used to them dating in real life outside of fiction. 
> 
> This won’t stop me from writing about my favorite ship in KPOP. I won’t leave Jongin too. I love him and I will be happy with him. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this one-shot! I had this written months ago but felt as if something was missing and I literally opened this document again and finished it in under two hours. I hope you like it? I almost cried writing this lol 
> 
> Jongin’s post on his SNS is on my twitter! @kyungsjagi 💞
> 
> I would really appreciate if you left a comment or kudos it would make my heart really happy. Thank you!


End file.
